My Cancer Journey
For the past 18 months, almost 2 years, I have been working with this cancer journey. Well, it’s sort of terminal at this point. Of course, there’s always miracles and things like that and that’s exciting. And I experienced two incidents recently that showed me the power of the techniques I learned through CDM.
One of my friends about 18 months ago lost her husband of many years and they were very close. He was her rock, and they were a very close-knit family. I ran into her a couple of weeks ago and she said ‘Wish me luck tonight, I’m going on a date’. Of course I was super happy for her. But then when I got home, I was just sobbing, this incredible hysteria came over me. I was sobbing and heaving, and the snot was coming out and I was just crying and surprising myself with this welling up of emotions. It was so intense. And then I realized where I was.
I was 18 months out at the time when I die. But I haven’t died yet. When I realized that, I knew I needed to come back to present time. So, I reclaimed my energy back down into my body and into present time. And very shortly I could start to breathe and calm down and come back to a place of peace and gratitude.
I recognized that I am still alive, and I still have these 3 beautiful children and I still have this wonderful supportive husband. And I’m still here. I thought that this was such a powerful way of showing that when you leave your body and go out into the future, that’s extremely stressful for the body. And when I brought myself back to present time, that’s when I could sink down into peace and then ultimately gratitude for where I was.
Even though my diagnosis didn’t change, nothing changed, I was calm again. And then interestingly enough, right after I became calm and filled my heart with gratitude again, I received a call from the doctor saying that my insurance had denied my latest chemotherapy. So then, the tears were going again because that felt like an increase in the speed of my death sentence. But I just did the process again, breathing deeply and bringing my attention back to the present and I told my body ‘In this moment I am safe, and all is well.’ And it worked! I was calm again and grateful for where I was.
Thank you, Mary Ellen. Thank you for all the wonderful teachers. Thank you for CDM and for all these beautiful tools. I wanted to share this story because it was so profound for me.
Susan Moe, wife and mother of 3.
